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The Aftermath: What tasks should you prioritize right after you move in to your new home?

By |January 28th, 2019|

The Aftermath: What tasks should you prioritize right after you move in to your new home?

Success! You have moved in to your new home. I hate to be a buzzkill but you still have a lot of things to do. Here’s a helpful guide on the essential things that you need to do right after you move in to your new home.

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Get the bug spray out

The perfect time to spray for bugs is right after you move in to your new home, before you start unpacking. Spray any areas that might have bugs in them, like cupboards, cabinets, the bathroom and under the sink.

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Set up the beds

After a long day of moving and unpacking, you will definitely want to look forward to having a comfortable bed to sleep in. Let’s face it, you might even want to take a quick nap in between unpacking your stuff, right?

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Unpack the kitchen

Another essential part of getting your home set up, especially for the following day is to unpack the kitchen. If you have too much kitchen stuff, just get the essentials out – appliances, cookware, dishes and utensils that you use on a regular basis.

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Groceries

This is just a quick task and it’s an opportunity for you to take a quick break from unpacking. Have some coffee while you make a list of what you need to stock up your fridge and pantry. Get the essential items that you’ll need over the next few days. It would also be a good idea to plan meals that you can either cook quickly or leave on the stove while you unpack more boxes. Another tip is to meal prep for the next few days so all you have to do is heat them up.

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Set up shelves in the garage

If you already have seasonal items, baby clothes, camping gear, and other stuff packed away in bins to be stored in your garage, it will be convenient to have shelves ready for them to be stacked in, right? You will have cleared up tons of space in your home after doing this.

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Change of address

Write this task down on a sticky note and stick it on the fridge or have an alarm set up so you won’t forget to do this part. Check out our blog about who you need to notify about your change of address.
New school

After unpacking the essentials, it’s time to make sure that your kids are set up for their new school. Apart from registering, you need to shop for school supplies. If you move in the middle of the school year, it would still be like the first day of school for them, sit them down to ease any “first day” concerns that they might have.

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New doctors

If you didn’t get around to doing this before you move, do it after you’ve settled in a little bit. It would probably help if you were also able to secure any records from your old doctors to make the transition easier. Start looking for a new pediatrician, dentist, ophthalmologist, etc., and schedule any necessary check-ups or appointments.

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Sort out your new budget

Apart from any change in your rent or mortgage, as well as utility bills, you would also need to consider different due dates for payments and changes in prices of other things that you spend on since you will need to shop at different stores if there are no generic stores around your new place. Make sure to plan out your new budget and timeline.

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Meet your new neighbors

While there are neighbors who are quick to come over and introduce themselves (some will probably bring you a housewarming gift), it’s important to be proactive and introduce yourself. Doing this shows them the nice, approachable, and friendly neighbor that you truly are.

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Celebrate!

Once you’re all settled in, it’s time to celebrate and bring some positive, fun energy into your new home!


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How to stop taking things personally: What taking things personally can do to you and how to stop this behavior.

By |January 22nd, 2019|

How to stop taking things personally: What taking things personally can do to you and how to stop this behavior.

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Being sensitive to the words or actions of other people is a sign that you have low self esteem. When you take things personally, you also tend to interpret things that are said or done by other people in a negative way. They might be in small actions that people do or don’t do like greet you or smile at you and you take it as an insult on your part. Taking things personally may cause you to feel inadequate, ashamed, or even unnecessarily angry at yourself or other people. It’s dis-empowering and can worsen your self-esteem. Recognizing this behavior and taking steps to stop it will help you build your self esteem.

Taking things personally is a reflection of your own insecurity and continuing this behavior reinforces your negative thoughts about yourself. This will not do anything good in the long run because having a negative thoughts about yourself leads to you having a distorted perception of reality. Words or actions that are deemed as playful banter by everyone else might come off as a personal attack in your point of view. Perhaps you feel that it exposes your mistakes or flaws of which you feel ashamed. This can be very problematic, especially if you base your worth on the approval from others or if you are a perfectionist. The importance of recognizing this behavior will pave the way to how you can stop taking things personally.

What steps can you take to stop taking things personally?

    • Not everything that people do is about you.

Consider that when someone who is rude might have their own issues. They might be having a bad day, going through a rough period, or it might just be their the way that they are. It’s important to know that rudeness is not okay and it’s not your fault. While you do deserve to be treated with respect, remember that people aren’t always nice and this is something that you can’t control. Keep this in mind and be kind to yourself instead.

  • Ask yourself what else someone’s comment or behavior might mean.

If someone doesn’t greet you or reciprocate a smile from you, it doesn’t automatically mean that they don’t like. Think about what else their behavior might mean. Maybe that particular person did not see you or maybe they have something on their mind so they’re kind of spaced out while they were passing you. Another situation is if someone states a comment that to you might come off as a criticism. It’s important to consider that not all criticisms are personal attacks. There are people that really do genuinely want to help you.

  • Take comments in a constructive way.

When you are being criticized, ask yourself if there’s any truth to what the person said about you and what you can learn from it. Instead of reacting in a negative way, take the lessons and let the rest go. Even if it wasn’t said in a nice way, you can still learn something. Always look at criticisms as an extra perk for you to learn something. Always take the high road and look at what positive things you can take from each criticism.

  • Take a different perspective.

Again, keep yourself centered by realizing that not everything is about you. Ask yourself how an unbiased outsider would see a particular situation. Could you just be misinterpreting the reality of the situation? Is it really as negative as negative as you perceive it to be? Think about how another person would react if they’re in the same situation as you are.

  • Take a different perspective.

Again, keep yourself centered by realizing that not everything is about you. Ask yourself how an unbiased outsider would see a particular situation. Could you just be misinterpreting the reality of the situation? Is it really as negative as negative as you perceive it to be? Think about how another person would react if they’re in the same situation as you are.

  • You can’t please everyone.

Let go of trying too hard to get everyone to like you. No matter who you are or what you do, there will always be people who will dislike or criticism you. You can’t change other people and all you can do is be yourself. Remember that as long you are not hurting anyone, you shouldn’t think negatively about yourself.

  • Let go of trying to be perfect.

This is a common struggle for a lot of people. Always remember that It’s okay to make mistakes and to have flaws, it’s part of being human. Making mistakes is a part of learning, and when you limit yourself to doing certain things because you’re afraid that you might make a mistake, you’re only limiting yourself to any possible personal growth that you might achieve.

  • Keep in mind that you are not defined by your mistakes.

This is also true of other people’s criticisms towards you – they don’t define you. Your worth is who you are as a whole person despite your mistakes or what other people might think about you.

  • Your self-worth does not depend on anyone.

Realize that your self-worth all depends on you. It does not and will never depend on what others say or think about you.

Like any personal issues, realizing and admitting to yourself that you have this behavior and that you need to stop it is the first big leap. You really do need to put in effort and be persistent and centered for you to be able to stop taking things personally, especially when it’s something you’re used to doing. It’s important to keep in mind that it will all be worth it. You will gain more than what you lose. You will have more self-esteem and you will see that you will have a better quality of life and a more positive outlook which is always rewarding.


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How to make talking to your kids easier

By |January 14th, 2019|

How to make talking to your kids easier

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Kids are masters of conversation, or at least some form of conversation. They’re imagination run so wild and they have a myriad of stories. Not to mention their tendency to ask so much questions to make your head spin. Talking to kids can be really challenging especially when you can’t find the right words to help them understand the lesson that you’re trying to teach them or how to get them to simply listen. In these situations, it helps to have effective phrases that we can use to achieve our end goal without getting frustrated or unnecessarily causing a negative reaction from both you and your kids

Phrases to avoid conflict

“I need you to” or “You need to”

When we make our requests sound optional unnecessarily causes a power struggle. Saying, “Do you want to pick up your toys?” is good IF you really want to give them an option not to do it. Of course you want your kids to learn how to clean up after themselves, so instead of giving them an option, we need to be more clear about what we want them to do. Try saying, “You need to pick up your toys, please.”.

“At the same time”

Using the word “but” can complicate already tense conversations. It can hurt your child’s feelings as it often means that you negate whatever came before the word “but”. Saying “Im sorry, but…” comes off as, “I’m sorry, but not really.” to the receiving end. Using the phrase “at the same time” will validate both what comes before and after it as coexisting truths. Try saying, “I’m sorry that you’re upset. At the same time, running away is not safe for you.”

Phrases to avoid assuming

“I see”

Stating your observations as you come upon a problem helps to prevent you from placing blame or making assumptions. This way, everyone will be more open to resolve the issue because they are aware that you’re starting from an unbiased place where you’re trying to understand what’s happening and not instantly placing blame on anyone. An example is saying, “I see two children who want the same toy.”. Describe what you’re seeing in a completely non-judge-mental manner. This way, you can then invite your kids to help you with the rest of the details of the situation without having to feel like they have to defend themselves from any ensuing blame.

“Tell me about”

You can use this phrase to avoid making any assumptions. Whether it’s to try to understand a fight between two kids or to have your child talk about their drawing. It’s better to ask for the child’s input rather than jump to assumptions. Saying, “What a nice fish!” might cause your child to close off any future of exploring their artistic side when you slam it with that comment about what was actually their version of a mermaid. So instead, try saying, “Tell me about your drawing.”. As for conflict resolution, try saying, “Tell me about what happened.” instead of jumping right in with, “I can’t believe you pushed him!”. This is especially true when the hitting was actually the result of an hour of teasing and taunting.

Phrases to reinforce independence and self confidence

“I love to watch you” or “I love to listen to you”

Positive reinforcements help motivate good behavior and positive self-perception. Simply letting a child know that you are watching them and enjoying them can go a long way in building their self esteem and confidence. Say things like, “I love watching you solve your puzzles.” or “I love listening to you play the piano.“.

“What do you think you could do”

Our time is so precious. We juggle a lot of things at the same time. As adults, we have already come across a lot of problems that it can be tempting to just swoop in and fix every little problem ourselves. This doesn’t bode well for letting kids have a sense of ownership and independence. Saying things like, “What do you think you could do to take care of the spilled juice?” or “What do you think you could do to make your friend feel better?” not only invites children to come up with a possible solution, but also reinforces a sense of ownership.

“How can I help”

Of course there are times when kids clearly needs our help. Maybe the problem is too much for them to handle and solve themselves. In these instances, we want to make sure that we are there to help them and not to rescue them and make everything go away. Try saying “How can I help you with your homework?” or “How can I help you with this broken glass?”. Offer them assistance without taking away their responsibilities.

Phrases to reinforce independence and self confidence

“Help me understand”

Saying “Help me understand” instead of instantly accussing and saying, “Explain yourself.” communicates that you don’t understand, but you want to understand. Say things like, “Help me understand what happened.” or “Help me understand your brother’s toy broke.”.

“What I know is”

There are times when our kids tell us things we know are not true. Maybe it’s flat out lying, a complete misunderstanding or just the usual magical thinking. It’s important to remember not to jump to saying, “You’re lying!” or “That’s a lie!”. Doing this will only make them shut down or become defensive. Calmly starting with saying what we know is true avoids argument and overreaction. Say things like, “What I know is that there were four brownies here when I left.” or “What I know is that toys can’t fly on move on their own.”.

Phrases to acknowledge and reaffirm

“I’m sorry.”

We make mistakes too. Sometimes our imperfections are the best starting point for important learning opportunities. Apologizing for our mistakes and shortcomings shows kids how to make appropriate apologies. It also teaches them that we all make mistakes. When kids see us acknowledge and apologize, they learn that they can and should do the same.

“Thank you.”

Acknowledging good deeds or good results is always important. We want to know our hard work is appreciated every day, so it’s only natural that our children would want to know that their effort is noticed as well. Say things like, “Thank you for listening to me.” or “Thank you for picking up your toys. I know you wanted to do other things first. I really appreciate you doing this.”. Always end things on a positive note.

Lastly…

“I love you.”

These three should come easily and frequently. With our words and with our actions, our kids should know that through thick and thin, we ALWAYS love them unconditionally.

Before, during and after any challenging situations with our kids, we should always make sure that they know that they are loved, no matter what happens.


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Keep your home safe: Top things that you must do before leaving for vacation

By |January 8th, 2019|

Keep your home safe: Top things that you must do before leaving for vacation

Leaving your home for a number of days or weeks means having to anticipate anything and everything that could go wrong. Make sure that you do these steps before leaving your home for that awaited vacation trip.

 

Security

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If you have a an alarm system installed in your home, make sure that it’s all set up before you leave. Lock all windows and doors, and install deadbolts on your doors as an extra security feature.

 

Turn the water off

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Prevent any possible water damage before you leave for vacation by turning off your entire home’s water supply. This way, you’ll avoid any possible water damage, like frozen pipes, water damage from leaking water heaters or a possible burst in your water pipes.

 

Adjust your thermostat

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Since no one will be around, set your thermostat to a temperature that will give your furnace or central air a bit of a break, depending on the season.

 

Put a hold on mail and newspaper deliveries

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You can easily put a hold on your mail while you’re away on vacation. You can fill out this form online or a card at the post office. If you have newspapers delivered to your home, make sure that you contact the necessary person to stop the deliveries while you’re on vacation too.

 

Ask someone to water your plants

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Have a friend or a neighbor stop by your house to water your plants. This is especially important for your indoor plants if you will be away on vacation for more than two weeks.

 

Pets

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Make arrangements for your pets. If you’re planning on boarding them, make sure that you make reservations a few weeks in advance, especially if it’s peak vacation season. Otherwise, have a friend or neighbor check on your pets and feed them while you’re away.

 

Notify your bank

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See to it that you notify your bank about going away for vacation lest you find yourself going through the hassle of having your bank-linked debit or credit card flagged for suspicious activity.

 

Bills

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It’s a good idea to set up auto pay to cover your bills while you’re away on vacation. This way, you won’t have to deal with the hassle of catching up on unpaid bills or having to go online and pay bills while you’re on vacation.

 

Unplug electronics

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Most electronics and appliances continue to draw electricity even when they’re turned off. Unplug the television, coffee maker, computers, microwave oven, etc before you leave the house for vacation.

 

Food

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Plan ahead. Should you buy any perishables a week before you leave for vacation, make sure to just buy enough for that week’s consumption. This way, you’ll avoid coming back to spoiled or rotten food items when you come back from your trip.

 

Clean

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Lastly, clean your house before you leave for vacation. You wouldn’t want to come back to a messy home. Take out the trash, wash the dishes, finish most of the laundry if you can, wipe down kitchen counters and vacuum the floors and curtains.


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8 things women over 40 should get rid of

By |January 2nd, 2019|

8 things women over 40 should get rid of

Along with all the wisdom and life experience, most women over 40 have surely accumulated loads of other stuff. While some of these items will stand the test of time, there are some things that over time just reduces themselves into nothing but clutter.

 

Expired Makeup

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Let’s get this out there first before any other things. Using expired makeup is not good for the skin. So it goes to say that you should throw them out. They’re not doing anybody any good. If you have shades of eye shadow, lipstick or blush that you can’t let go of because they’re your holy grail, and are discontinued, what you can do is to swatch them on a piece of paper so you can keep them for comparison. As for items that have some sentimental value attached to them, say your first high-end makeup purchase, take a picture, it will last longer and will not clutter up your vanity.

 

Shoes that hurt your feet

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It’s high time to get rid of shoes that hurt your feet or give them blisters. It doesn’t matter how cute they are. You can donate them or sell them for the extra profit. Free up some space in your shoe collection for ones that do not hurt your feet.

 

Bras that don’t fit

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You should have a clear understanding of your true bra size by this time, so toss the ones that have lost elasticity, have underwires poking out, or are overall just not a good fit. If you’re still unsure about your correct bra size, get fitted at a store that you trust. Give that part of your wardrobe an overhaul and get bras that fit!

 

Bridesmaid dresses

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If your bridesmaid dresses look like that’s the only purpose that they’ll serve, maybe they’re a little tacky or are just not versatile enough to be re-purposed for anything, get rid of them. These days, the trend is wearing those infinity dresses, but let’s face it, most of the weddings that you’ve been a bridesmaid at before weren’t lucky enough to have had this trend going on at the time. Free up some space in your closet, otherwise, you’ll see yourself at that scene from the movie 27 Dresses!

 

Flimsy plastic chairs

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You take pride in your outdoor space, and you want your guests to feel at home. So don’t make them sit on flimsy, rickety plastic chairs! Invest in some sturdier outdoor furniture that will last for years, provided you take good care of it.

 

Wire Hangers

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Clear out the wire hangers from your closet and replace them with wood or cloth ones. Wire hangers can wear out the shoulders of your shirts because of the material and the thin surface of the hangers.

 

Clothes that are too small

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A lot of people keep clothes that are too small for them no matter how much space they take up in the hopes that they might fit into them someday. Donate your clothes or sell them for extra profit. You’ll free up loads of space in your closet and if you do end up losing weight down the line, you can reward yourself by buying new clothes.

 

Supplies from abandoned crafts and hobbies

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While there’s nothing bad about trying out a new hobby or starting a new craft project and not finishing it, But if your untouched craft supplies end up cluttering up your home, it would be best to get rid of them.

Freeing up space in your home also means freeing up space in your life and opening up the door for new opportunities to come in as you see yourself transition into a life without any reminders of a cluttered and unorganized life.


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